Oops

Tonight I volunteered to bring food for my class at church. A couple had done it for two weeks so I wanted to help out...
Class starts 6:30
It's 6:05.... It hits me, I didn't buy drinks. I don't drink with meals and it didn't occur to me to plan for that.... How embarrassing but thank goodness it hit me earlier, I had {barely} enough time to run to the gas station and get some.
I guess this change has changed my way of thinking and I didn't even realize it....

BP

124/81.... That's a normal blood pressure. Something I didn't have 6, heck even 2 months ago. I was put on blood pressure meds in the early summer when it sat around 155 for the top number,don't know about the bottoms number.
But no medicine and its normal. They cuff even reads it, they always had to get the manual blood pressure stuff for me.

NSV: links

I got this watch for Christmas last year... I didn't wear it until August when I got a new link. It was too tight to wear more than a few minutes, leaving an indention in my wrist....
Now look at it!

Remember this above all else Kristi

NSV

Again, something lots of girls don't think twice about, until you don't do it.... Borrow clothes! I can't tell you the last time I've borrowed someone's clothes.... Like cant think of a time of when I did, to save my life...
Recently Melba and I took pictures for business cards (that were horrid so you won't see them) BUT I borrowed her shirt for the pictures... And it was FOREIGN! 100% foreign to borrow someone's clothes.
Non scale victory.... I never even saw coming!

My cheerleader

I was going to go out and get some fancy card, but that card will be long gone one day and I hope this blog will outlast the card so here is the Thanks to my Cheerleader post....

Words can not adequately express the appreciation I have for my cheerleader. HE is the one to keep me going and he doesnt even know it.

Thank you. Thank you for so many things.

Thanks for the comments you make when you dont even think about what you are saying "Your butt is getting smaller!" "If you eat that, it will go STRAIGHT TO YOUR A$$". "You're already out of that size?"

These keep me grounded, they make me realize that changes are happening, even if I cant see it! Thank you for pointing out things to me. You are the eyes that I dont have yet. I cant see a lot of changes but, through you, I can see more.

Thanks for the support, 100% for me. To know that I am doing this to feel better for me, not you or anyone else. You truly love me for me, not this outter shell I am trying to change and mold into something better (again for me).

Thanks for the encouragement... The "nah, you got this" when I hesitate to think Ill make my next goal. Thanks for being the person who knows my next goal and my "number".

Thanks for loving me, through the thick and now onto the thin... And I guess from the thin to the thick if we are thinking about an entire timeline.... I'm embarrassed to have to get back to thin but you loving me regardless is such a blessing to me, to my heart and to the path I am taking.

You give me things to look forward to and work towards. Things for us to do together. Fun things and thanks for WANTING me to join you.

You get me through this. You see the change! You make me feel good about myself! You make me smile, with your words or reactions! You give me little things, but they are big things to me! I heart you and thank you, my love!

Five-0

50! Done this morning. One more pound ill be halfway to my {first} goal and I said I'd reveal my fat number here. Maybe tomorrow?
Now to celebrate the 50 pounds. What to do?

Give yourself a break

I'm really hard on myself these days. I put myself in a bad mood if I weigh in the morning with no weight loss. I need to quit that. That being said, I need to be aware if eating habits. I am, but they are usually a direct reflection of the weight loss. The less carbs, the more I'm loosing. I just need to stay aware. I finally broke my weeks stall this weekend. Seemed like I was there forever... Since in knocking on 50 pounds.... Been hovering at 47 for too long. Ugh. Yesterday I hit 49. So close, we will see today though. I can tell in clothes I'm loosing, the jeans are getting too big in my legs... My chest is shrinking like nobody's business, so is my upper stomach. Still too big in my belly but that's the last place to go :(

Holy salad

I try to order small because its such a waste on me. I swear Monty's lucky, I'm a cheap date. So I ordered a small salad, said the menu.... Here is the small salad and then the next picture is the little bit I was able to eat.

Nsv

Skinny people don't get it, fat girls do! The towel, regular towel, not the spa sized large towel... Wraps around!

Changes

This is a huge difference! I see it now and realize I was f.a.t!

Mirror image

So today I saw myself in the mirror and it caught me way off guard. I saw the weight loss. I could tell I've lost a lot. Until today, I haven't seen it. People have said stuff but I couldn't see it.
Maybe it's that black is slimming....
Maybe they have skinny mirrors installed :)

As I laid in bed and blogged this from my phone (coolest App ever so I can use mobile uploads).... The emotion of it all kicked it. This is emotional! I laid there and stared at these pictures.... and had to say over and over again, that is you, that is really you. I cried and looked and scrolled up and down. That is not who I feel like yet. I see her, I dare to say I looked in the mirror that day and said "she's pretty" and I was talking about me. That was hard. I don't see beauty! I see fat! But I am starting to see it! Yes there are imperfections and I see those but I am starting to see more.... and more is less! There is more emotion to this than I thought and I am told everyone thinks that! Its a roller coaster but seems my highs are good and my dips are weight!

Hipbone

So Monty will lay sideways in the bed... And lay on me... Well last night he couldn't get comfortable because "you have a hipbone and I'm not used to you having a hipbone".... It's been there all along, covered up under some fat but it's poking out now....
He also told me yesterday "your butt is getting smaller!"

Lots of little things he is commenting on that I never thought he'd have the chance to comment on again. Sweet little victories...

Next goal.... Hit the -50 pound mark.