What will you gain when you loose?

That was the tag line in a Special K commercial.. 

Never thought of it that way! 

Gain confidence

Gain the ability to enjoy clothes shopping and not think of it as torture.

Gain the ability to look in the mirror and see me, not the me I knew was in there somewhere... Covered in the fat. 

Gained the moments of clarity... To see it was an addiction and i do fight everyday still.

Gained a new found appreciation that I only need to eat to survive, not eat because I'm emotional, or bored. 

Gained insight on how much of our lives in this society revolves around the next meal or two. We don't plan to do anything without food involved.

Gained success I never imagined actually happening. I wanted to be smaller, but never thought I had it in me.

Gained the "I'm so proud of you" from my husband. I don't think he was ever disappointed but think he just only loved me... 

Gained the satisfaction of knowing for the the most part my kids don't remember or those memories will fade of having a fat mom. 

Gained goals that I have surpassed that always seemed to be goals but in reachable ones. 

Gained the knowledge of nutrition that never clicked before. It was like a lightbulb going off... Maybe drilled in over and over didn't hurt but it all made sense when I saw a nutrionalist! 

Gained "being an inspiration" from people I never knew I could inspire or did inspire! 

I've gained a lot when I lost. There is still more to gain and more to loose! 

Background photos

This weekend we went to a birthday party... While I'm ok with being in pictures now... They still catch me off guard. The party was at a pool and they had a photographer. At the end of the party the images just scrolled through for a slide show. There was a photo of a cute 1 year old. I know that's what the photo was taken up... But there in the background was two normal people. No heads, just them...  That's what I was looking at. The normal girl in the background was me. Me just there, not me just fat! 

Transformation Tuesday

So along with the text messages... Monty was going thru old pictures and kept getting stuck in between these two. Over and over he kept saying "squirrel!" "Squirrel! That doesn't look like you!"

He's a keeper

Random text message conversations make me smile. He's my number one fan and cheerleader. I couldn't ask for anything better. 

Another non scale victory

Another moment... The ones that a fat girl gets that a skinny girl never will... 

Tonight. Bathtub. No fat roll sticking out above water. 

Laugh, it's funny but true. The little things that make it all worth it. 77 down. It's worth all of it! 

He who contradicts himself

She's wrapped in a towel after getting out of the shower. Not her towel, but one she grabbed at the top of the stack of towels in the laundry room. She had to take a shower real quick and just grabbed a towel and moved on. It's one of the regular sized towels, her sons. 

She gets out, towel wrapped around and he just stares at her. It's a stare to study the situation, soak it all in and compare. 

"What are ya lookin at?"

"Just you!"

"Me, why, what's wrong."

"Nothing, just not used to seeing you with a towel that wraps all the way around you."

"Thought you didn't remember me being that big?"

"I don't. It's just little things like this. I see you like this and I see pictures of you from a year ago and it's hard to put the two together." 

He is the guy who contradicts himself. And I love him for that.